


I Fell (slowly)

by unfortunate17



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: :P, M/M, don't ask me why I keep writing this, don't laugh at my sex scenes yeah?, jesus christ - Freeform, they fuck outdoors again, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-16 17:31:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfortunate17/pseuds/unfortunate17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn’s a rich, fashionable CEO but he’s not above letting his 18-year-old boyfriend, Liam, drag him on camping trips. And convince him to have outdoor sex again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Fell (slowly)

**Author's Note:**

> (don’t ask me when i started writing this stuff)
> 
> (Another oddly smutty) companion to I JUST (SORT OF) and LIFE LESSONS

Liam’s eyes are huge and imploring, “Zayn, please? I bought all the equipment already." He digs his fingers into Zayn’s shoulders, straddling him on the chair. If anyone opened the door to his office, Zayn would have a lot of explaining to do.

He sighs, “Li - babe, I  _hate_ camping." He rubs circles into Liam’s back, feeling the muscles relax under his fingertips. Liam’s oddly vulnerable in his arms and it never fails to send a thrill through Zayn’s spine.

Liam snorts, “You’ve never been camping."

"Exactly," Zayn tells him, matter of fact, “And I plan on keeping it that way."

"That doesn’t make any sense," Liam frowns at him, leaning forward to kiss Zayn’s neck. He sighs heavily for the fourth time since this conversation had begun, “Okay"

Zayn raises a surprised eyebrow, “Okay?"

Liam kisses him lightly on the mouth, “Okay, whatever you want, I guess." He shrugs, looking downtrodden, " ‘s fine. We don’t have to go." There’s a frown pulling at his lovely, red lips, and he gets very small in Zayn’s arms. “Was dumb of me, sorry."

Zayn feels something twist in his stomach.

"Hey," he says, wetting his lips, “no Liam, it wasn’t dumb." He grips his cheeks, dragging Liam’s gaze up to meet his own. Liam’s eyes are sad and brown and beautiful and Zayn feels a bit like a mass murder. He groans, “Yeah. Yeah, we’ll go. Dunno what I’m gonna do though because I don’t know the first thing about camping. I work in a business firm for god’s sake - in bloody suit and tie."

Liam’s entire face lights up under the terrible fluorescent lighting, “Really?"

Zayn chuckles, “Really. Let’s go and ignore all my commitments this weekend like an irresponsible teenager."

Liam does nothing but beam down at him, tugging his hands through his hair, “I bring out the best in you, don’t I?"

"Or the worst."

Liam pouts at him then until Zayn laughs and leans up to kiss him, hands gripping possessively around Liam’s waist, drawing him in nearer until the chair nearly tips backwards, making Liam laugh into his mouth.

The door to Zayn’s office bangs open, “Mr. Malik, we just got these - "

The voice cuts off and Liam pulls back quickly, face flaming, nearly toppling off balance, but Zayn’s hands grip tighter to steady him.

His secretary, Sophia, is looking at the two of them, wide-eyed. Her top’s cut much lower than necessary again and Zayn knows there’s no person on this planet Liam hates more.

"Um," Sophia looks lost, toying with her brown ponytail, “I - sorry to interrupt."

"It’s alright," Zayn tells her warmly, eyeing Liam amusedly from the corner of his eyes, “Come right in, sweetheart."

Liam stiffens, blowing his cheeks out in frustration and god help him, Zayn wants to kiss him again.

Sophia grins widely, looking like Christmas had come early, and completely ignores Liam’s presence as she makes her way into the office to drop off a pad with tiny writing that Zayn knows he’ll have to spend an hour sifting through later.

"This needs to be looked over and finalized by Monday, sir," she smiles coyly at Zayn, who’s looking at her with his head tipped back over the chair, Liam still firmly in his lap, “Hope that won’t be a problem."

Zayn’s about to respond and tell her that  _no, it wouldn’t be a problem_  when Liam lets out a rush of air, fisting Zayn’s shirt in his hands, “He can’t do that actually, he’s going camping with me this weekend." Liam smiles sweetly with all his teeth, “Sorry."

Sophia’s answering smile is even sweeter, “Sure thing, kid. Let me know how that works out."

And Zayn feels a rush of anger sweep through him when Liam recoils swiftly, hurt marring his face before he schools it quickly.  His mouth snaps shut and Liam swivels his head, fixing his eyes on a spot on the far wall.

"Sorry," Zayn tells her, not sorry at all, “I  _am_  going though. I’ll take a look at this on Monday and we’ll see what we can do, yeah?"

Sophia’s mouth opens in shock, “But -"

"That’ll be all, thanks," he’s curt again, like usual, feeling slightly bad for essentially giving her the wrong idea for his amusement. Zayn admits that he’s a potentially candidate for the asshole category. Which is what makes it even more astounding that Liam treats him as well as he does.

Sophia looks burned for a moment, a deer caught in headlights, before she nods imperceptibly and slips back out the door without another word, shutting it softly behind her.

Liam watches the door for a long moment with wide eyes.

Zayn sighs, leaning over to nose up his neck, nipping at his jaw, “Sorry about that."

"No it’s fine. True isn’t it?" Liam shrugs, eyes darting everywhere but Zayn, “You don’t have to come. If you’re busy I understand and besides I can always go with my uni friends or something."

Zayn makes a face, “And let them sleep in the same tent as you?  _No fucking way_."

"Zayn -"

Zayn sighs, pulling him closer and biting down softly on pretty collarbones that are just peeking out behind Liam’s track shirt, “I love you." He glances up at him, “Sometimes I think you don’t know that."

"I know it," Liam replies instantly, but his voice gets small, “but other people like to think it’s a joke."

Zayn smirks into his neck, “I like to think other people are jokes."

Liam chokes on a laugh and slaps the back of his head, ignoring Zayn’s exaggerated sound of pain, “You’re an idiot."

Zayn bites down on that pretty birthmark he’d first noticed on Liam as he checked out his books at the library, " _You’re_ the one that wants to go camping."

Liam pushes off him, standing and Zayn makes a needy noise in protest. LIam smirks down at him in response, “Come on then - we need to get ready."

Zayn takes a hold his waist, dragging him back down and spinning his office chair as Liam gripped onto his shoulders to prevent from falling, making a surprised sound. “Yeah," Zayn laughs, kissing him harder, tangling their legs together, _"Later."_

………………………..

"Zayn you don’t need that," Liam pries the hairdryer away from him as Zayn looks panicked and wide-eyed. He sighs, “Nobody’s gonna be taking pictures of you out there. It’s just me."

Zayn shakes out his hair in frustration, “This is impossible. You don’t want me to bring  _anything._ " He watches as Liam’s mouth pulls into a brilliant smile.

"You don’t need to bring anything," Liam tells him, hands rubbing through his hair as Zayn sighs contentedly, hairdryer already forgotten, “Just need you."

Zayn cracks an eye open, “You cheesy fuck. It’s too late for this shit." He yawns at his own words, “Reminds me - you’re driving tomorrow, yeah."

Liam narrows his eyes at his back as Zayn makes his way to the bedroom, “Why’s that?"

Zayn lifts a cheeky shoulder, “I’m gonna be napping, babe. Need my beauty sleep." He hears Liam mutter something unintelligible about sleep being for the weak before he’s stripping himself down this his boxers and drawing up the sheets, finding Liam’s scent in the double bed.

Liam flicks the light off, standing amusedly in the hallway, “So do I finish packing or what?"

Zayn waves him off, “Yeah."

"Do I have to do all the work?"

Zayn smirks up at him, “Yeah."

Liam frowns playfully and Zayn gestures for him again, hands held wide open in an empty hug, “Come here."

"But I still have to obey your every command?" Liam snorts, but he comes anyway, stopping at Zayn’s side, brushing a hand through his hair and pulling the covers up tighter around him.

"Naturally," Zayn tells him, snuggling down into the bed in a way that’s far too adorable for a man in his early twenties, “You always have to listen to me. I’m _older_."

Liam rolls his eyes, “But obviously not wiser."

Zayn smiles sardonically, tugging at his arm to force Liam to bend over a fair amount before he gets a fist full of his t-shirt, pulling him down to kiss him carefully, biting down on Liam’s full bottom lip, “Come closer."

Liam lets out a rush of air, hands bracing themselves on Zayn’s shoulders, “Need to finish packing."

_"Later."_

"That’s what you said before," Liam mutters, pulling away, but Zayn doesn’t let him get very far, “So now I need to go do it."

Zayn hums sleepily, “You should just do  _me_."

"Yeah," Liam lets out a bark of sudden laughter, “and you say I’m the cheesy fuck?"

Zayn shrugs, “I’m not wise, remember?"

Liam pulls successfully out of his grip, leaning back to smooth Zayn’s hair one last time, “Be back in a bit. There’s not much left to do anyway."

Zayn nods into his pillow, eyes slipping shut, “I’m not helping you."

"Bastard," Liam laughs, “but you’re exhausted so I’ll give you a pass this time."

Zayn waits until Liam’s gone again, lingering scent of chocolate in the air, and just before he shuts the bedroom door, he leans up blearily on his elbows, “Need help, Li?"

Liam’s head pokes back in the slightly ajar door. His eyes are soft and filled with love and something tightens in Zayn’s chest, “I love you," Liam tells him, “Now go to sleep."

Zayn falls back abruptly into the pillows as Liam pulls the door all the way shut. He’s smiling foolishly into the dark, trying to cool his racing heartbeat because Liam always makes him feel like a teenager in love.

Bad influence really.

Later, when Liam finally slips into bed around 3:00 am, Zayn turns over and presses his face into Liam’s neck, “I’ll drive tomorrow, yeah."

Liam makes a soft noise, “I can do it."

Zayn shakes his head, kissing Liam slow, lazy, and lovely, “Jaan." He feels Liam melts into him at the endearment, body going lazy and pliant under his. Zayn slips an arm around his waist, holding him close, “Want you to nap in the car, babe. Okay?"

Liam snuffles, “Okay." He pauses. “You’re too good to me," he rushes out then, for the infinite time since him and Zayn had properly gotten together.

Zayn only holds him tighter in response.

……………………………….

"Zayn, you missed the bloody turn-off."

Zayn scowls, eyes going to the rear-view window to watch the fork in the road disappear behind him, “Coulda told me before, yeah?"

"You said I could kip," Liam points out and Zayn’s hands tighten on the wheel in frustration.

"But you were  _awake_ ," he mutters furiously, “You could’ve given me a warning _before_ I drove past it."

Liam deflates at his tone, “Sorry, here," he reaches for the GPS on the dashboard, turning it off, “it doesn’t matter - take the next right."

Zayn narrows his eyes, turning sharply to drive along a dirt path that tapers out abruptly into flat grassland in a few minutes. They’re at the edge of the forest - just about a half- mile in and he can hear some sort of stream gurgling if he strains his ears hard enough.

He turns to look at Liam, who’s already unbuckling his seat belt, “Where the fuck are we?"

Liam shrugs, “Not sure actually. But this place looks good enough to stop, yeah." He unlocks the door and steps out, shutting the door on Zayn’s stunned face.

Zayn scampers to follow him, catching Liam at the open truck of the SUV, “Where’s the campsite?"

Liam nods back towards the way they came, “At that turn you missed."

"At that turn you bloody  _made_ me miss," Zayn corrects him, looking around at the desolate area, “What the fuck are we supposed to do here?"

Liam nudges him and when Zayn turns back to look at him, he has a hesitant look on his face, “Camp?" He says, but it comes out more like a question. He wrings his hands, twisting them into Zayn’s jumper, “Is that okay?"

Zayn sighs, leaning over to rest his head on Liam’s shoulder, breathing in how he always seems to smell faintly of chocolate, the scent calming his frazzled nerves, “Yeah," he drops a kiss to the pretty collarbone, and then peeks around the sight again, eyebrows raising thoughtfully, “At least we’re alone, yeah."

Liam groans, slapping the back of Zayn’s head, “You are such a  _pervert_."

Zayn shrugs, smirking and moving back so Liam can lift the tent out of the SUV’s trunk, “What can I say? You bring out the worst in me."

Liam rolls his eyes, moving out about fifteen feet before he’s propping the masses of fabric and plastic sticks on the ground, “That’s not what you tell the papers." He kicks at the materials, “Help?"

Zayn snorts, throwing up his hands in defense, “No bloody way - this was  _your_ idea."

Liam narrows his eyes, “So I have to do  _all_ the work?"

Zayn walks back to the front of the SUV and opens the door, hopping in and rolling the window down. “I have no idea how to set up camp - or a tent," he calls out.

Liam stands their dumbfounded, eyes squinted in his direction, “And you failed to mention this, why?"

Zayn starts rolling the window back up, plugging in his ipod into the doc, “I didn’t fail to mention anything - you just didn’t ask."

Zayn actually expects him to throw a fit - god knows Zayn would have. He probably would have come over, dragged Liam along with him and given him specific directions. But Liam’s not like that - not like  _him_. Liam’s so much better than him. He bows his head and gets straight to work.

And it only takes twenty minutes for Zayn to feel awful but by then Liam has the entire tent set up and he’s hauling together firewood. Of course - because Zayn’s a bit of an asshole like that - he hangs around the open truck for a minute, watching Liam’s arms in his t-shirt.

Liam catches him looking and blushes, “What?" he asks self-consciously, dropping am armful of wood into a stone circle.

Zayn smiles and kicks at the dirt, feeling like he did when he’d first laid eyes on Liam at the local library. He remembers that business deal like yesterday because it ended with his number in Liam’s pocket. Most of all he remembers not even wanting to go to the bloody function and making a detour to the library at the last minute. He doesn’t think of what might have happened if he hadn’t.

"Stop looking at me like that," Liam’s face is a gorgeous pink and his eyebrows are scrunched in annoyance.

Zayn looks away laughing to himself fondly, “Are you done then?"

Liam walks over to him, leaning against the trunk and slouching into it in exhaustion. He nods, “For now, yeah. Then when the sun goes down properly I just need to light the fire and we’re good." He looks up at Zayn through his hair, “I have food in the backseat. Wanna eat?"

Zayn runs a hand through his sweaty hair, “I’ll get it. Hang on."

It only takes him a minute to lug out the box cooler Liam’s shoved between the seats and when he flips it open, his eyebrows shoot to into his hairline, “Tesco sandwiches," he rifles through the box, “more sandwiches, takeout, juice, and water." He looks back at Liam, eyebrows still raised.

Liam’s head is poked around the vehicle sheepishly, “Sorry, was really busy last week and this was sort of unplanned so - " he breaks off, shrugging, “Sorry."

Zayn brings the cooler around the back of the SUV, popping the lid and handing Liam a sandwich. They both sit in the trunk and Zayn curls into him with one in his own hands, “You had exams," Zayn sighs, “All you had to do was tell me."

He feels Liam shrug, “You had all your business stuff you know and I didn’t want to bug you about it."

Zayn draws him near, Liam’s cheek pressing into his sharp shoulders, “I’m a better cook," he mumbles, peace blanketing over the two of them. And now, Zayn can’t fathom why he hadn’t done this long ago, why he’d taken so long to agree when Liam had asked him. He should have known that Liam always knew what was good for him.

Liam’s head drops suddenly and he’s blinking, rubbing at his eyes. Zayn wants to hurt him and then snuggle him because nobody was ever supposed to be that adorable, “Sorry," he yawns, " ‘m tired. Gonna kip." He slides down into Zayn’s lap, getting comfortable before cracking his eyes open, “This ok?"

Zayn snorts, bending over to mouth at his earlobe, “More than ok, Li." He smiles, leaning back against the backseat, content washing over him in palpable waves. The world is silent around them and Zayn’s cell is switched off in his pocket so there’s no incessant buzzing with frazzled, panicked businessmen on the other end.

Liam’s breathing evens out and Zayn knows that he’s probably feeling the late night. It makes him feel another twinge of guilt for being an uncooperative little shit but Liam still smiles at him with lights strung up in his eyes. Because that’s what Liam does - he makes Zayn happier than he’s ever been without really doing anything. Zayn guesses that’s probably what love is.

Zayn rummages through the trunk as quietly as he can to pull an old book he’s started but never got the chance to finish because life always seemed to get in the way. He runs an absent hand through Liam’s hair. Liam nuzzles closer at the contact.

It’s only about forty minutes later when Liam shifts, knocking his head into Zayn’s stomach, “Oof," he mumbles deliriously, " How long have I been out?" His voice cracks with sleep. Zayn feels like the blood in his body is burning.

He sets down the book face down and lets Liam have his hands to kiss, “Just about a half-hour. You can go back to sleep if you’d like."

But Liam’s yawning, glancing up at the sky. He frowns, “It’ll be dark soon. Might want to get that fire going."

Zayn shrugs and is about to tell him to fuck it but the evening wind is blowing sharply and Zayn feels himself shiver. He shudders, “Yeah, ok. Good idea."

Liam wraps his arms around Zayn’s waist, “What were you reading?"

Zayn toys with his hair before tipping his head back against the back seat, eyes closed as his heart beats out  _hello, here’s my number babe,_   _this is wonderful,_ and  _I love you._ Zayn swallows, “Neruda."

Liam shifts up, “I think I wrote a paper ‘bout him once." Liam also sounds confused, “Strange man. Never did figure out why he was so sad."

Zayn feels laughter bubbling through his body, “He makes perfect sense."

Liam shoves him, rolling off to stand in front of Zayn, “You’re an English minor. You’re supposed to think that everything confusing makes sense."

Zayn opens his eyes, cocking his head, “Funny I can’t figure you out then."

"What?" Liam’s mouth sort of opens and closes silently, “Me?"

Zayn stands up as well, motioning towards the fire pit. Liam comes easily, smiling in the dying sunlight, “We’re so different," Zayn tells him, “And we’re also exactly the same."

There’s a long moment of silence.

"Yeah," Liam mumbles finally, kicking the dirt, “You do the thinking and I’ll do the fire building, ok?"

Zayn snorts, finding a seat in the grass, “Get to it then."

And he watches Liam silently, tugging the firewood from the SUV because of course Liam was a worrier and he had to buy firewood ahead of time. He sets the small logs carefully, hands reaching up to brush back his hair every now and then, double checking the stone circle as he lights the entire mass with a fire starter.

The fire kicks up abruptly, crackling in the otherwise silent night, blazing Liam in a halo of dim, soft light. Liam falls next to him and they both look out at the fire and neat tent.

"I set it up all by myself," Liam pouts, nudging him playfully, “You’re useless."

Zayn shrugs, amused, “I love you." He yelps when he’s thrown off balance, Liam bounding into him and snuffling into his neck. Arms wrap tightly around him and Zayn tries to count his breathing to make sure he’s not embarrassingly gasping.

"Love you too," Liam says into the skin of his neck, “I wish you knew how much."

Zayn’s smile is splitting his cheeks even if Liam’s uttered those words a hundred times now in the past year. He eases Liam into his lap again, leaning into his collarbones, "I think I have an idea," he whispers, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, “Remember when we met and you weren’t even legal."

Liam laughs, “Yeah and you gave me your number with that  _filthy -_  "

"Hey," Zayn interrupts, indignant “You were in that fucking polo yeah, checking out my damn books and all I could think of was how good you’d look without any clothes on."

Liam slaps the back of his head, “Cheeky bastard." His eyes are mischievous, “Did I meet your expectations then?"

"You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t."

Liam laughs loudly at that but Zayn can see the pink of his cheeks in the fire-lit night.

"I think you’re amazing," Zayn admits then, voice quiet and hushed, “And I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

Liam snorts, scrambling off his lap. He straightens out, offering Zayn a hand, “Come on then, Shakespeare. I need to tend the bloody fire."

Zayn pouts, " _Neruda -_ not Shakespeare."

Liam shrugs, “Same thing." But his eyes are sort of soft and Zayn thinks that Liam fits into his life like the spaces between his heartbeats - he doesn’t keep him alive, but in rhythm.

“ _Not_ the same thing - nowhere near the same thing, babe."

Liam turns to grin at him over the shoulders, tightening his fingers around Zayn’s and Zayn’s read something like this - South Asian weddings involve walking around a fireplace a certain number of times. And as Liam gazes at him happily, there’s an undeniable twisting in Zayn’s stomach.

Liam’s too young now but someday. Someday Zayn’s going to get down on his knee away from the entire fucking world and slip a glittering rock on Liam’s left hand.

"Zayn?" Liam’s looking at him, puzzled and Zayn feels the tips of his cheekbones heat, “Ok?" He pokes at the fire as Zayn slinks down on the spread out sleeping bag near the mouth of the tent.

"Yeah," his voice is hoarse so he clears his throat, “Yeah. Just thinking."

Liam slides down on top of him again, legs thrown carelessly around Zayn’s waist, hands in his hair, “Can I ask about what?"

Zayn smiles softly, pulls down Liam’s left hand and presses a kiss to the base of his ring finger. When he glances up, Liam’s eyes are wide and wonderful.

There’s a moment of silence.

"I haven’t washed my hands," Liam protests weakly.

Zayn falls flat on his back, laughter rising up from his throat. He draws Liam over him. “Jaan," he mutters quietly, " _Jaan."_

Liam’s looking at him wondered and in awe. He opens his mouth, as if to say something but then he’s shaking his head, leaning over kiss Zayn carefully, licking over his teeth and gently stroking the roof of his mouth.

Zayn sighs into the kiss, lazy and quiet and soft around the edges in a way they haven’t been in the longest time. It’s always rushing around, hastily kissing goodbye in the mornings, sneaking time during those rare lunch breaks when Liam can actually visit him, and falling into bed in exhaustion because neither him nor Liam can actually think about doing more.

And this is so different, so nice  -  _so fucking slow -_ that Zayn wants to stay this way forever. Just him and Liam in the big wide world, stars on the tips of their tongues, flowers in their eyes, and hearts thudding to the same beat, Liam filling the spaces in between his.

Liam’s eyes are bright and hazy when he pulls back and Zayn tries to school his breathing. He reaches for his jumper but Zayn’s scampering out from under him, leaving behind the impression of the fabric in Liam’s hands.

"No," Zayn tells him, “Jesus - in the tent at least, yeah."

But Liam’s shaking his head. “Stars," he mumbles, pulling Zayn back and it’s escalated to some bizarre tug of war.

Zayn rolls his eyes, “And you called me the pervert."

"I’m  _romantic,"_ Liam scoffs in return, hands going back to removing Zayn’s jumper and yanking up the hem of his long sleeve t-shirt, “There’s a  _difference_.”

Zayn scowls but it’s short lived because Liam leans down to kiss the center of his chest, “Jaan," Zayn’s eyes are fixed on the sky, “Remember the park?"

He feels Liam laugh into his skin, “Course. Fucked me up against a tree. What would the children say?"

Zayn’s stomach swoops at the words and the fucking meaning behind those words and he’s reaching down for Liam, tangling his hands in his hair and pulling up. His grip is probably just a little too tight but Liam comes up easily, grin plastered in place until Zayn makes it a point to kiss it off.

Zayn rolls them over gently until Liam’s head is tipped back against the sleeping bag, nose and eyebrows crinkled. “Children?" he asks quietly.

"Course," Liam replies immediately, “I won’t marry you if you don’t want any."

Zayn’s trying and failing to hide his smile, “Who says I want kids with you of all people?"

He waits for another ridiculous response but Liam bites his lips and he looks nervous and unsure, hands shaking as they push back Zayn’s fringe, “I’m hoping," Liam mumbles, “that. I mean not kids or married or anything like that but like. Hoping you’ll stick around?"

Zayn lets out a rush of air and drops his face in Liam’s neck, “Wanna know a secret?" he asks childishly, feeling Liam nod against his cheeks, “I’d marry you today. Fuck I would and I know that sounds fucking insane after a year but I would." He makes a noise, rubbing Liam’s arms to keep himself sane considering what’s coming out of his mouth, “But you gotta get older, yeah - and do things and experience things and then. Fuck you, I  _will_  marry you. I’ll marry you. Get down on my knees and everything for you."

Liam’s breath is coming in short gasps like he can’t seem to get in enough oxygen.

"Jaan," Zayn continues, “Stay, ok. Stay so I can fucking do all that, yeah."

There’s a long moment of silence and finally, after what feels like a lifetime where Zayn’s wondering if maybe he took it too far, Liam nudges him. And when Zayn glances up, there are tears in his eyes.

"I’m an eighteen year old kid," Liam says, fisting a hand in Zayn’s rucked shirt, “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life and I don’t know what I want with it either." His eyes are huge under the firelight and Zayn doesn’t know how they got _here_ but he loves  _here_ and he never wants to leave. Liam sighs, smile lighting his face, “But I know I like being here with you."

And Zayn’s going to cry. He fucking, really, honest to god is.

But instead, he chokes out a breathless laugh, “Cheesy fuck," he teases, “You cheesy, cheesy,  _cheeky_  bastard. I don’t know why I love you as much as I do, yeah - and I probably shouldn’t. You’re a hazard to my health."

Liam snorts, pulling Zayn’s offending shirt off him and his hands are cool against his heated skin, “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m sure that’s the other way around. The things I’ve done since I started dating you."

Zayn hums, biting down on Liam’s collarbone and tracing his tongue until Liam’s squirming under him with laughter.

"Hold still," Zayn mumbles into his skin, “Trying to make a mark."

Liam sputters loudly under him, pushing him off, “Zayn, get off, yeah. Everyone at uni thinks I’m the biggest twat to ever exist."

Zayn fights laughter and leans back, inspecting his handiwork, “Yeah. That’s gonna stay for at least the next couple days." He pets the raw skin gently, hissing as the wind blows cold against his back. “What the fuck, why am I the only one half naked." He tugs sharply at Liam’s shirt, “Get it off."

Liam makes no complaint, helping Zayn get the garment off, leaning up to kiss him just when it passes over his head. “We need to stop having sex outside," he mumbles into Zayn’s mouth.

Zayn snorts, “Was your bloody idea. Stars you said, romantic you said."

Liam sticks out his tongue playfully, “Well I’m not the one who’s going to be publicly denounced for doing it."

But Zayn’s mind is decidedly not on Liam’s words, “Put your tongue away."

Liam blinks.

"Liam," Zayn hisses, uncomfortable, “Put your bloody tongue away."

And of bloody course, Liam’s eyes get all mischievous and he’s sticking his tongue out further, catching Zayn on the cheek. He laughs as Zayn wipes the spot dramatically, feigning disgust.

Zayn’s about to make a lewd comment about everything when Liam decides it’s time to pull down his jeans - for once, not facing a neat belt and dress pants.

Zayn’s smirks down at him, but Liam’s making frustrated noises, “Hate you," he mumbles, “You get me all worked up and then I have to do all the work."

Zayn raises a smooth eyebrow, “You do all the work?"

Liam flushes darkly, " _Zayn._ " His fingers fumble with his track pants that he’s managed to slide out of, fishing through the pockets, “You’re terrible."

Zayn rolls his eyes, “I’m not the one that keeps trying to have sex outside."

"This?" Liam’s face lights in triumph and he’s pulling out a little packet, “This - this is all your fault. If you’d stop flirting with your secretary, then I wouldn’t have to publicly dishevel you."

“ _Sophia_?" Zayn aks, dumbfounded, “We’re nearly naked and you’re talking about my  _secretary?_ ”

Liam groans, ripping the packet between his hands and bringing Zayn’s fingers up to dip in the cold material, “Don’t say her name," he warns as Zayn reaches into his boxers, “You say her name and I’ll finish this up myself."

Zayn pauses and Liam’s makes another embarrassing sound. “I knew it," Zayn narrows his eyes, “You’re  _using_  me for sex."

Liam’s eyes go wide in response, “You know my secret." His voice harsh and cold and Zayn’s trying to hold in his laughter, pulling lightly at Liam’s and his own boxers. Liam squirms, “Hurry up."

Zayn rolls his eyes. He roughly scraping his teeth over Liam’s birthmark but the finger that he pushes in his gentle. “I’m nothing if not useful," Zayn tells him.

Liam breaks into a fit of light laughter, dipping his head back to look up at those damn fucking stars that Zayn’s going to thank for the rest of his life.

Liam taps out little words on Zayn’s back - words that begin with  _Jaan, Zayn, love,_ and end with  _you -_ as Zayn slowly stretches him. And Zayn fucking loves doing this and yeah maybe it would have been better when there’s no night air against his back and he doesn’t feel restricted by the area of a spread out sleeping bag, but Liam is special and so, logically, this is special too.

Over the years Zayn’s learned to trust his logic.

He finishes quietly, pulling his fingers out as carefully as he’d put them in and Liam’s eyes are bright, fixed on something that Zayn can’t see but his mouth is pulled into his smile that has Zayn’s heart hurting with joy. He shuffles forward, easing Liam’s right leg around his waist and blessedly slotting himself inside.

And the world just  _stops_ for a minute -  _stops_ for  _them._

Liam drops a kiss to patch of skin behind his ear, pressing a hand down on the small of Zayn’s back, “Slow, yeah.  _Slow_."

Zayn nods into his neck in return, “Whatever you want. ‘s always whatever you want."

And Zayn doesn’t do anything that he knows Liam normally likes - doesn’t bite at his collarbones and neck, doesn’t press deeper every time he goes back in, doesn’t rhythmically stroke him. Instead, Liam’s got both his hands gripped in his, their mouths faintly touching, as Zayn tries to count all the spaces in his body Liam lives in.

He fails.

But only because there are too many and because Liam looks stunning and it’s messing with his brain functioning.

"You’re amazing," Zayn tells him then and Liam’s eyes crack open quietly.

"And you’re foolish," Liam nuzzles him just as Zayn grinds back into him, “Can’t believe I can convince you to do this outside."

Zayn groans, “You’re a little shit."

Liam kisses him again, “And you’re just dumb."

And everything’s burning into his neurons, sending shockwaves of  _want, love, sweetheart, jaan_ straight into his aorta and Zayn’s trying to hold on because he’s slipping and he loves being here with Liam but at the same time,  _here_ might not even be real.

"Hey," Liam mumbles, angling his hips up. Zayn’s still going slow, cock dragging over Liam’s prostate in timed, synchronized movements, “Hey, I’ve got you yeah."

Zayn blinks down at him in shock.

But Liam only eases him with a smattering of kisses to his collarbones, “Let me be here for you for a change, yeah. I’ve got you."

Zayn makes an embarrassing sound, hips stuttering as Liam grips his bicep as a warning to slow down again, “Gonna come," he breathes, “There’s no way I can - fuck. Not today."

But Liam doesn’t look the least bit confused or disheartened even though Zayn’s sure he’s still got quite a way to go, " ‘s fine. Want to see you anyway. Come on, Zayn.  _Relax._ ”

And so Zayn relaxes his shoulders, laying his head down on Liam’s chest as he comes messily, shocks lightning through his veins.

It takes him a few seconds to realize that Liam’s still talking to him, " - you. So incredible you know that."

Zayn blinks down where Liam’s still painfully hard. He lifts his head to catch the way Liam’s looking at him, all parted lips and pink cheeks.

"Zayn," he says, awed, “Zayn you’re incredible, yeah."

Zayn smiles lazily up at him, “I can be, can’t I?"

Liam snorts, pushing back his hair, combing through it, “You have sex outside," he accuses.

Zayn’s arms are shaking and he still hasn’t pulled out, keeping them as close as two people can ever be. He pulls himself up, leaning over Liam with a forearm on either side of his head, leaning down to nose at his neck, “Well you have sex outside  _with me_ so really, you’re just as bad, sweetheart."

Liam’s nose wrinkles and Zayn can tell from the way his hand trembles that he wants to wrap it around his cock, “Don’t call me that. ‘s weird."

Zayn raises an eyebrow.

"Too romantic for you."

"I run around telling people that you’re my life and now I can’t call you sweetheart?" Zayn mumbles and now Liam’s reaching down but Zayn tangles his fingers with his, bringing it back up to kiss along the knuckles.

"You’re terrible," Liam tells him, bucking up into Zayn, gasping at the friction, “Okay, get me off, Zayn. Please."

"You know what’s weird," Zayn says conversationally, as if Liam isn’t currently rutting up into his stomach, “I have all these little nicknames for you and you just call me Zayn. How unoriginal."

"Zayn," Liam groans, frustrated, “I hate you."

Zayn laughs, slipping his hand down Liam’s chest, gripping him with a tight fist, “Coulda told me sooner, Jaan, wouldn’t have come on this blasted trip with you then."

Liam reaches up to fist his hair and pull Zayn down to bite at his mouth, “You came because you love me. Now - _god -_ that. Just keep doing that."

Zayn licks into his mouth, twisting his fingers up, grinding against his ass, “You’re so beautiful."

Liam’s face heats under his cheek, “Yeah. Whatever."

"So beautiful," Zayn mumbles again, and the fingers of his other hand find Liam’s hole, where he’s still pressed deeply into, rubbing along the outside and threatening to slip in.

Liam makes a helpless noise in response and Zayn tightens his grip a fraction more because Liam coming apart is one of the most breathtaking things he’s ever seen in his life.

"Relax," Zayn echoes his previous words, “I’ve got you."

Liam nods silently, going pliant under Zayn’s body. He comes in lazy spurts - exactly how Zayn is feeling and how he wants to stay for the rest of his life. Just him and Liam away from the world, free to do whatever they pleased whenever they pleased.

Liam sighs happily and pushes Zayn off him, snuggling into his chest. Zayn grins, looping an arm around him.

"Gonna get arrested one day," Liam mutters quietly, “And naked pictures of your bum will be in the papers."

Zayn nuzzles his hair, “Never. You know that only you get to see my naked bum."

Liam kisses his neck and while Zayn’s distracted, reaches over to slap his bum, “Hate you."

"Love me," Zayn corrects, grip tightening.

Liam scoffs playfully, “You’re delusional."

And Zayn tips his head back, watching those damn stars where he swears they’ve aligned just so him and Liam could, as cheesy as it sounds,  _meet._ Well, whatever it is, Zayn’s starting to think this is all he wants - for a long time, maybe even, as scary as it sounds,  _forever_. Because that’s what Liam does to him. Slows him down when the world’s too fast, makes him young when he’s tired, and loves him when he’s undeserving.

"Jaan," Zayn mumbles back, breeze picking up around them. Liam shivers huddling closer and Zayn takes advantage of the closeness to lean over and whisper in his ear, “I’m in love."

Liam grips him tighter, leaning down to kiss the center of Zayn’s chest. And Zayn swears again, for the millionth time, he’s going to get that tattooed there - Liam’s mouth, maybe a fucking pair of wings because all he wants to do is fly when he’s around him.

Liam runs a hand through his hair, “Let me tell you a secret."

Zayn leans in closer and he feels young, childish, staring wide-eyed and hushed at what Liam wants to say. “Yeah," he whispers theatrically, “You can trust me."

Liam looks around fleetingly, eyes darting as if he’s really afraid someone’s going to walk in and steal his words.

"I’m in love too."

**Author's Note:**

> Well. I started that last week when I was on a high and then by the end…well I was going through a lot of shit. Still am. But I hope the happy atmosphere carried over and it turned into a ball of cheese and fluff you enjoyed.
> 
> Thanks for reading x. :)


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